WHAT ARE WE RUNNING FROM?
.jpg "Changing tides")
“I am not that type of a person”
“I am not a bad person” “only spoilt people do this and I am not that”. I am
sure you must have heard these statements from a lot of people a lot of times.
And sometimes you must have agreed with them or sometimes called them weird or
maybe doubted yourself after hearing such statements. But do these statements
actually hold some meaning? Or are there any such boundaries or distinction
among people which make them say such things? Let’s try and explore them.
Many a times I have heard people
use these phrases or different versions of these phrases. And sometimes they used
to judge people on activities that they enjoy. E.g. if you offer alcohol to a
person for the first time, they may call you spoilt or say that its not right
to consume alcohol. This is just one of the many examples that I can quote.
There are many such taboos in the society. One such common taboo is sex. Oh,
how many people have misunderstood the ideology behind this word. I am not
saying that I know all about it, but I have definitely seen people who don’t
know anything about it but still have opinions on it. But again, that’s not
what we want to discuss.
I feel a lot people have made
these mental barriers because they are either afraid of what lies beyond trying
new things or they have been brought up like this (which almost everyone has
been). But as you grow old, you soon begin to realise a lot of things parents
had lied about in order to protect us (and they were right in doing so). Somethings
are meant to be learnt on your own, from your own experience. Even I was
brought up with these ideals. I come from a family where no one smokes, drinks,
goes out at night, talks about sex and all “good” things but soon I realised
that’s not what good generally mean. A
lot of people drink smoke and do all the things that I had been told not to do
and they still are good. At the end of day, I guess loyalty and honesty form
the foundations of a good person. And surely, everyone makes mistake, and even
my parents make mistakes too (even though they are the perfect example of
“good” people). So, do you really think keeping these boundaries make you good?
What if you are a “good” person
but you lie a lot and hurt others but you don’t drink or abstain from sex
before marriage? Does that not make you bad or spoilt? And there could be many
such situations.
I, coming from such a family,
have tried almost everything such as drinking, smoking and even drugs. But does
that make me bad? I don’t know. But I certainly don’t feel so. I know one thing
that I have tried my very best to stay loyal and honest. And sometimes I have
failed to do so and, on those moments, I genuinely felt bad. I felt a heart
wrenching guilt and it was the worst feeling ever. But If I am good to people
around me, then its all good.
But isn’t life about learning
from your mistakes? Who decides what is good and what is bad? It is very
subjective. A roadside vendor serving a burger may be bad for you but for some
guy it could be the most delicious burger he ever had. Maybe for you crossing
the boundaries is not good, but does that make the other people who do so bad?
So, I think judging others based
on your mental boundaries you set or running from them is not a solution. And honestly,
there is nothing wrong with such boundaries, but if you set them without any
reason then you are either following someone blindly or fooling yourself.
In conclusion, it can be a little
scary to break free and challenge your ideals at times, but I can assure you
that not once will you regret that. Even if the experience is bad, it still is AN EXPERIENCE. Something you can share
with people when you get old. And things may seem bad at times but when enough
time passes, it will hardly affect you.
So break free and let go.
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