"Freedom" after relationships
If I had a nickel for every time I heard people feeling the sense of “freedom” after getting out of a relationship I would be driving a range rover right about now.
This time whatever I am writing may sound biased and maybe a little too practical or insensitive but I do have my reasons to have such opinions.
How often have you heard that a person feels “free” after coming out of a relationship? I am sure quite often and that person generally says (or pretends to say) that as some sort of achievement. But why is that? Isn’t it sort of hypocritical? Or ironical? Or both? How can a person feel free and not lonely after coming out of a relationship? Doesn’t he or she, after sometime, try to come back into another relationship and be “unfree” again?
I get the fact that sometimes relationships turn ugly (due to early age immature experiences or mature bad decisions) and people feel the urge to end the relationships and feel free after that relationship. But that sense of freedom should be from that PERSON and not from the idea of a relationship. Because agree or not, we are biologically meant to be in pairs, some find their pairs easily and some find them with a lot of struggle and some don’t but they still try to find.
Everyone gets physically and mentally attached and dependent on the other person in a relationship. And somehow this is what makes us feel better. Isn’t the idea of being in a relation is Being vulnerable in front of someone and that someone doesn’t take advantage of it and exposes his or her vulnerability too in return. When you are totally involved in a relationship, you put and reveal all the cards on the table and still play and expect the other one to play fairly. When the other person takes advantage of your vulnerability then the relationship should be terminated. So, by doing so a person is freeing herself from the person and sometimes temporarily from the idea of a relationship to take some time to heal.
I don’t quite understand when people who had a really good relationship, while it lasted, immediately after getting out of it start doing things which they couldn’t do before. They just start posting pictures, quotes and articles on social media about how single life rules (which is a pretense mostly), how they don’t feel bound by anyone anymore and how they can do whatever they want now without worrying about anyone. If they felt so bound in a relationship then maybe they chose the wrong person to be in a relationship with. Or maybe they knowingly or unknowingly like getting bound in a relationship. Either case is fine, if you choose a wrong person you will find someone better. Yes for a few people it is easier to switch to a new person and for a few it is difficult but giving up on the idea of a relationship due to such reasons is wrong. Even if you become that person in a relationship, find that person who would support you or be with you in such a way that helps to empower your individuality.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not against the people who prefer being single or who want to be single but I am not a fan of people with such extreme opinions that they tend to get after a bad (not extreme) experience in a relationship.
In the end, I just want to write down one sentence that has always helped me get better at understanding relationships (the numerous ones that I have been through) is
A Relationship should liberate you even with the feeling of belonging to someone.
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