YOU ONLY GAIN AFTER YOU LOSE

Hello everyone. The topic of this post is most commonly heard of yet it is hardly understood. Even I thought I understood it completely but every day I find myself understanding it even a little more. The phrase ’you gain after you lose’ is an oxymoron in itself. And the thing about oxymorons is that they can convey a strong message using a very few words.

And of course, since I love explaining things through stages of human life, so I am going to do the same this time too. Every single day we lose time and we gain something. That something can be a new perspective or some new skill or can be refining an old skill. Even when you waste time you realise the importance of time and that’s still a gain. In our childhood when we are learning how to walk and we fall so many times only to rise up and walk again. In every little attempt we lost that effort to walk but we gained the will to walk. When we enter college, we somehow start realising the importance of the things we learnt in the school which earlier seemed like an utter waste of time or forced habits.

I realised all of this a little late. Actually, some of them very recently. All the things that my father used to make me learn through huge assignments in my initial years, I see myself applying those things to different things around me. When I started working, I felt that I was very independent then. I started paying rent to my parents, started paying for the food and what not. All of this Gave me a sense of independence, a sense of pride. But I was under a huge misunderstanding. I realised this when I moved to a different city to start my own work.

Suddenly all the things that seemed easy started looking difficult. Earlier it was very easy to be a part of a process but now it was all about making that process. And such a process that everyone would like and follow. And don’t think I am talking just about a process at workplace but also at a home. We keep living in a comfort zone in our home where things automatically happen for us, sustain in a place where there is already a process and sometimes complain about it. But actually when you get to make that process then you start valuing things more. You start understanding why flaws occur in a system and start working on improving those flaws instead of complaining about them.

one more experience that i can share is about my spending habits. I used to spend a lot. Almost everyday on clothes, food or travelling. I never used to hold back or think twice before spending. This trend continued even after I started working. But this thing drastically changed when I started working for myself. The fear of having a limited amount of money and resources made me realise their importance. This fear made me realise that half of the things we spend our money on are actually unnecessary or plain redundant. This fear made me wiser and stronger. Now when I see people who are talking about different materialistic things around me makes me wonder that a few years ago I too was like this. But how by losing all the comforts of my life I realised what’s more important and what Is not. A lot of people are smart enough to realise this without letting go anything. But most of us are not. Or maybe this is part of growing up.

All of this may seem easy in writing but its actually very difficult to understand and even more difficult to experience. But I actually want that everyone should experience this atleast once in their lifetime. And even if you don’t get such an opportunity, I would suggest a very simple experiment.

Cut yourself from all the social media. The next time you feel like talking to someone, don’t text them but give them a call.

The experiment may seem simple. But its not. I tried this and I could manage to do it for a maximum of three days. But in those three days I got closer to all my friends and relatives.

So don’t be afraid to lose, remember you can only gain after losing.

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